All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?


Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

By this time next week I'll be on a plane to Boston. It's really hard for me to grasp that right now, I feel like I'm avoiding thinking about it until the last minute. When I do think about it, all I can think to say is "that's so crazy."

We're at that point in our lives where the friends we make now could be the friends we keep for the rest of our lives. In my life, I've been fortunate enough to make some wicked awesome friends. I hope you know who you are, you all spoil me. No one in Boston will ever replace you!

Last night, my kung fu instructor ordered in some pizza for us as a little goodbye thing for me. At times I get frustrated with kung fu... sometimes it feels like I put so much time into the club that gets overlooked but I know I will miss it sorely. There's no way I wouldn't, I've gone to this place roughly 3 times a week for the past 5 years. I've learned a lot, not all of it has been kung fu based. Some of these people have been there just as long or longer than me, and we've sort of grown up side by side. I'm really gonna miss being a part of that.

Thanks for a great goodbye dim sum guys. You all spoil me with your generosity, thanks for the clothes! I lost the nerve to give a corny speech but know that I'll miss you a lot. I just won't be the same without you guys lookin out for me.

As soon as nha emails me the pics, I'll post a few up. And you can all expect wicked christmas gifts when I get back Dec 22nd.

I was certain that the season
could be held between my arms
But just as summer's hold is fleeting
I was here but now I'm gone
so long, so long

-Dashboard Confessional

I never realized how important family is to me until I was faced with a prospect to leave them. Everyone keeps saying I'll be a better person for leaving, for being on my own. But sometimes I wonder how I can become a better person without my family, the people who've guided me all my life. Maybe it's cause I'm coming down with a cold.. maybe it's my innate pessimism.. I can feel the anxiety and fear engulfing what little excitement I had. When I think about leaving, I feel hollow.

Bitter sweet goodbyes

Where has the summer gone? There's less than a month left before I have to leave this place that I know and love, a place that I've dubbed hick capital of the world but will sorely miss. I'm so aware that this is probably going to be the single defining moment in my life, the moment I have to leave behind the feeling that I really know a city... in return, I'm getting a large metropolitan place where people drive like maniacs and would probably murder a person if they wore a yankees hat. For the most part, my time is spent thinking things like "growing up sucks" and "I want to be forever young!" I'm fairly certain that I'll be miserable for at least all of September if not October as well. Slowly the independence will grow on me and I'll be a better person for it... hopefully...

I feel like I should write something utterly and hopelessly touching, an ode to my life here. But most of what I feel, I've already said. I want this summer to last forever, this sense of accomplishment for getting accepted without having done any actual work in the field. Everything is about spending time with the people you know you'll miss the most. Time is against me, I'll never have enough of it to spend with the people who've had a part in shaping who I am today. Life is always throwing challenges at you but I feel like I just got the hang of things here and now I've got to start all over. I'm terrified, mortified, petrified of it all.