All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?


Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

By this time next week I'll be on a plane to Boston. It's really hard for me to grasp that right now, I feel like I'm avoiding thinking about it until the last minute. When I do think about it, all I can think to say is "that's so crazy."

We're at that point in our lives where the friends we make now could be the friends we keep for the rest of our lives. In my life, I've been fortunate enough to make some wicked awesome friends. I hope you know who you are, you all spoil me. No one in Boston will ever replace you!

Last night, my kung fu instructor ordered in some pizza for us as a little goodbye thing for me. At times I get frustrated with kung fu... sometimes it feels like I put so much time into the club that gets overlooked but I know I will miss it sorely. There's no way I wouldn't, I've gone to this place roughly 3 times a week for the past 5 years. I've learned a lot, not all of it has been kung fu based. Some of these people have been there just as long or longer than me, and we've sort of grown up side by side. I'm really gonna miss being a part of that.

Thanks for a great goodbye dim sum guys. You all spoil me with your generosity, thanks for the clothes! I lost the nerve to give a corny speech but know that I'll miss you a lot. I just won't be the same without you guys lookin out for me.

As soon as nha emails me the pics, I'll post a few up. And you can all expect wicked christmas gifts when I get back Dec 22nd.

I was certain that the season
could be held between my arms
But just as summer's hold is fleeting
I was here but now I'm gone
so long, so long

-Dashboard Confessional

I never realized how important family is to me until I was faced with a prospect to leave them. Everyone keeps saying I'll be a better person for leaving, for being on my own. But sometimes I wonder how I can become a better person without my family, the people who've guided me all my life. Maybe it's cause I'm coming down with a cold.. maybe it's my innate pessimism.. I can feel the anxiety and fear engulfing what little excitement I had. When I think about leaving, I feel hollow.

Bitter sweet goodbyes

Where has the summer gone? There's less than a month left before I have to leave this place that I know and love, a place that I've dubbed hick capital of the world but will sorely miss. I'm so aware that this is probably going to be the single defining moment in my life, the moment I have to leave behind the feeling that I really know a city... in return, I'm getting a large metropolitan place where people drive like maniacs and would probably murder a person if they wore a yankees hat. For the most part, my time is spent thinking things like "growing up sucks" and "I want to be forever young!" I'm fairly certain that I'll be miserable for at least all of September if not October as well. Slowly the independence will grow on me and I'll be a better person for it... hopefully...

I feel like I should write something utterly and hopelessly touching, an ode to my life here. But most of what I feel, I've already said. I want this summer to last forever, this sense of accomplishment for getting accepted without having done any actual work in the field. Everything is about spending time with the people you know you'll miss the most. Time is against me, I'll never have enough of it to spend with the people who've had a part in shaping who I am today. Life is always throwing challenges at you but I feel like I just got the hang of things here and now I've got to start all over. I'm terrified, mortified, petrified of it all.

Check out how pro Anita looks.

Thanks for the relatively successful bbq/karaoke night guys! Sorry if you were bored... but I had fun so that's all that really matters.

"Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools speak because they have to say something."
- Plato

I have a song guys! "Boston" by Augustana. Download it, listen to it, and think of me!

Thanks to Den for sending it to me.

Tue Sept 5 ~ first day of classes
I wish this summer would last forever.

Wed Nov 22-Sun Nov 26 ~ american thanksgiving break
I'm planning on takin a bus up to NY to spend some time with my aunt in long island. Lil Jessica should help with the homesickness I will undoubtedly be suffering from. Apparently buses from Boston to NY are pretty frequent and very cheap at $15.

Fri Dec 22-Sun Jan 7 ~ winter break
I already can't wait to come home for a couple weeks... christmas is just meant to be spent at my grandma's house surrounded by lil cousins Joyce, Janice, and Gordie the troublemaker.

Sun Mar 11-Sun Mar18 ~ spring break
Either I'll do the stereotypical american thing and go get tanked or I will again go up to NY. I don't know what I'd do without family relatively close.

Sat May 26 ~ last day of final exams
MY LAST SUMMER will be only 3 months long... after this, it's all clinical assignments and rotations... whatever they call them the end result is no summer for me *sigh*
Growing up is hard to do.

What a night... so many little drunken asian girls to take care of, so little time....

We were celebrating tony and anita's birthdays and by 1230 it was apparent that anita was tanked. I spent the next hour helping gavin hopelessly attempt moving her from the parking lot in front of fever to the one in front of pho hoa.... a 2 min walk for any partially sober person. I walked anita halfway there where she collapsed in the middle of the parking lot, at this point we decided we should just drive her (and also that she was in no position to eat). Pulled up the car, put her back in and parked closer to pho hoa and started takin shifts taking care of her.

I'm not gonna lie, I was slightly annoyed at drunken anita... but then I reminded myself of how nice she was to me at my bday when I was leaning on the side of the standard puking my brains out, how much she helped me... and suddenly I was glad I had devoted my night to taking care of a little drunken asian girl.

Funny how we never wanna do anythin for some of our closest friends despite all they've done for us. How suddenly, little things like driving someone home or buying a fundraising ticket becomes such a great hassle.

The rumour mill is spinning quite the interesting story. Even if this isn't true, it's still very entertaining....

I think by now we've all heard that Pronger is requesting a trade because he supposedly cheated on his wife. But here's something new! the girl that Pronger allegedly cheated on his wife with is... *drumroll please.... some CityTV personality named Christie Chorley
http://www.citytv.com/edmonton/personalities_11461.aspx

Also, his wife (who's richer than him) apparently cheated on him too.

Hey guys,

If I haven't already emailed you, I'm sorry! You're not on my gmail contact list...

My kung fu club is holding a fundraising BBQ. It's just $10/ticket, we're raising money for my brother Stephen's trip to Malaysia representing team canada in a worldwide tournament. (And also some other ppl from our kung fu club that you don't know...)

It's gonna be at BORDEN park, site 3. (The address is 112 ave and 73 st), on sunday, JULY 30th from 2pm - 5:30pm

RSVP asap so I know how many tickets to get from my instructor. I'm expecting a lot of you to come and show your support! It won't kill you to have some good ol' fashioned BBQ in your stomache. And every meal should be followed by a water balloon fight.

You can bring anyone you want, as long as they dish out the 10 bucks. In fact, I encourage everyone to bring at least one person I haven't met. That way we'll meet new ppl too!

Thanks.

This is the tale of a girl born and raised in Edmonton venturing into Boston to find an apartment all by her lonesome. Warning: this is very detailed so at times very boring.

My flight is at 2pm edm time, I get to the airport at abt 12:15. Since those damn terrorists have wreaked havoc on security policies, I have to check in 90 minutes before the flight. Finally it's time to board the plane and I start to think about when I leave at the end of the summer for roughly 4 months before I come back for christmas break as opposed to this 4 day trip. I get a little emotional at takeoff and think to myself, as some kids in the background say "wheee," jeez... there are seven yr olds on this plane that are handling themselves better than you. We land in Minneapolis where I am getting on the connecting flight. The aiport may as well be a mall... there's a roots, body shop, sunglass hut, etc, etc. On this flight, a nice lady sits down next to me, she's from a town next to Boston. She and her husband are coming back from a good ol' American vacation. They went to yellowstone, the grand canyon... and some other places I hadn't really heard of... It's an endearing experience, she's the nicest person I've met on a plane. I arrive in Boston 11pm local time, I'm mildy impressed that there is a line up for the cabs (very organized). I check into the hotel, they've given me a room with 2 twin beds instead of the one queen bed I reserved. I keep the room because it's $20/night cheaper, it indirectly reminds me that I am alone.... It's now midnight but still just 10pm back home so I can't quite fall asleep... I watch some bad tv and feel utterly alone. No one to share sarcastic comments with, laugh at stupid commercials with or even to just sit beside. I start to doubt my earlier decision to not have any roommates 1st yr. What a horrible feeling to go to sleep with....

Friday morning rolls around and I walk to the school to talk with the registrar about an I-20 form for a student visa. She's a total bitch, it's a shock because everyone else at the school is so nice. My paperwork is wrong but she gives me an extension because she's going on vacation so she won't be looking at it anytime soon anyway. I meet up with Tarra, a girl who's in my class to theoretically get a head start on the apartment search. Her first appointment is at 1pm... it's 9:45am..... we decide to walk into a realtor's office a few blocks from the school. The lady talks to us abt some price ranges but seems reluctant to show us anything. She says they will be at the housing clinic tomorrow... Tarra and I find a park, we sit and talk for a bit. Then we meet up with a girl whose name I've already forgotten and her mom. We all go to starbucks and when they head to their appointment, I ditch them because it's too far from the school for my liking.

I walk along newbury street (like whyte ave but exponentially superior) until it's time to meet up with Duy at 1:30 for lunch. Afterwards we head over to Beacon Realty for our 3pm appointment. They show us 6 units in 2 buildings. They all look basically the same to me, tiny dorm like apartments with a "kitchenette." They range from $900-1100/month. Duy and I walk over to the malls nearby and do some shopping in an air conditioned environment, then a little more in the scorching sun while walking along newbury. We head back to our respective hotels to drop off our purchases and for a very short rest before the dinner.

My feet hurt and I want to sit in the hotel room longer but it's time to head back to the school.. I'm relieved that I'm not under-dressed, everyone is very casual. Some random conversation occurs with ppl whose names I've forgotten. They give everyone a planner... yay! Turns out Kendall and her dad are staying in the same hotel as me, on the same floor. We all walk back together which is nice because it's now dark out and I'm not quite sure how dangerous Boston is.

We get to the school at abt 8am and I have a muffin. After hearing from the realtors, some students looking for roommates talk abt their places. I decide to check out an apartment that 3 girls are currently living in and looking for a 4th roommate. The place is pretty nice, its only flaw is that it only has 1.5 bathrooms. Call me crazy but I think the number of ppl living in an apartment should be no more than the number of bathrooms x 2. I still decide I want it because the 3 girls are taking up the bedrooms and leaving the living room to be lived in for only $600/month. But another girl wants it too and she asked first so I take it as a sign that I am not meant to have roommates 1st yr. Plus at least I am escaping some DRAMA later on.. cause you know with 4 girls in one apartment, there's bound to be plenty of that. I head back to Beacon Realty and sign a 1 yr lease with option to sub-lease so I can come back for the 3 month summer. My place is abt 2 blocks from the sch so I won't have to partake in too much public transport except maybe to buy groceries.

I feel relieved that I have an apartment for sept 1. And it's only like 1pm! While signing the lease, Darren is signing his also so we decide to have lunch together. He's from BC, and the canucks were 9th place in the west (thereby missing out on the playoffs while edmonton clinched the last spot). He's a bit of an oiler hater but tones it down so I don't feel the resentment I did when I spoke with him briefly during friday night dinner. I walk around for a while sort of shopping/killing time. Finally the blisters on my feet tell me it's time to head back to the hotel room, I watch some tv then head down to the McD's just down the street. I'm back with time to spare before the puck drops for game 6. Since I'm breaking the previous superstitions established including: sitting on the floor and watching the game on CBC, I feel compelled to wear my oilers hat. Clearly, the luck was enough to offset the superstitions since the oilers won 4-0 all because of my headwear.

Having a busy friday and saturday, meeting some of my classmates really helped me get over the homesickness I had thursday night. But I'm still glad to head to the airport early sunday morning. On the flight from Boston to Minneapolis, I meet a couple guys that seem to be around Stephen's age (high sch types) but get a little envious when they mention their trips to Italy, Greece, and other exotic places. Turns out they're writers, one is doing a little book of 100 interesting things/possible things to write a story about. I tell him abt the time I saw a dead bunny in the snow and the ensuing bunny nightmare I had, he says "well, that's number 36 right there." The guys were the most interesting ppl I've met on a plane.

While walking through the Minneapolis airport again, I'm dissapointed when I get to the gate and no one else is wearing any oiler garb (I'm wearing the hat now). Still I'm glad the trip is almost over since I'm just not good at flying.. headaches like crazy.

I get home and everything is just as I left it, I'm sure that won't be the case by the time I come back for christmas..... I think abt something a guy originally from edmonton, now going into his 2nd or 3rd yr at the sch said to me: It's an odd feeling when you live in a city that isn't your home for the better part of a yr. You get back to edm and some things have changed so it isn't home as you remember it.

Hey guys! Just to let you all know, my cousin's Marble Slab is NOW OPEN! It's in the north side so for all of you who live in that area... yay for you. It's at 165 ave and 97 st. Check it out, later days.

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

The Graduation Song - Vitamin C


I thought that the one hit wonder by Vitamin C is totally relevant to my leaving for Boston.

I've been thinking about how music can affect us, how a song can remain forever attached to a certain feeling or event in your life. This all started cause I was looking for burnt cd's, ones worth so little that I wouldn't care if I forgot them at work. I found a couple from back in the day.. circa '99 and when I listened to them there were a few one hit wonders.... But it was just so crazy that upon hearing those songs your conscious mind had long forgotten, all the old memories are stirred up. That song you loved so much, you would listen to the radio the whole day just waiting for them to play it. That song you identified with cause you felt like you were goin through the exact same situation the lyrics were outlining.

Someday "Jo's Summer '06 Mix" will bring about reminiscent feelings...

Here's the songlist for "Jo's Mixed CD Y2K"
1. Silverchair - Anthem for the yr 2000
2. Blink 182 - Adam's song
3. Destiny's Child - Say my name
4. Gob - I hear you calling
5. Greenday - Time of your life
6. Lauryn Hill - Can't take my eyes off of you
7. Outkast - Ms. Jackson
8. Joe f/ Mystikal - Stutter
9. R. Kelly - I wish
10. Lit - Miserable
11. Our Lady Peace - Life
12. Papa Roach - Last resort
13. Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag
14. All 4 One - I swear
15. SoulDecision - Let's do it right
16. Everclear - Wonderful

I think losing Roli has gotten nearly everyone in the city of Edmonton very emotional. But I'm gonna state now that I think he's gone, and holding your breath waiting for a game 3 miracle start to happen might prove dire. Of course I hope I'm wrong but I don't think I am.

Calling everyone a bandwagoner is not gonna make anything better. After all, who's to define "bandwagoner"? If it's someone who hasn't stuck with the oil the ENTIRE season, then I think a lot of us are guilty of being one. I'm not saying bandwagoners are my favourite people, they entice you into talking about the game only to utter some lame "oil sweep" comment; so now you've wasted several minutes of precious time tryin to actually talk about the game with what may as well be a doorknob. BUT I love the atmosphere it's created in the city, we all have a pseudo thing in common. I think it's wicked awesome that I can have a 5 minute conversation with an absolute stranger just because I said I liked the oilers pin on her jacket. Bandwagoner or not, we all want the oil to win so let's just stop with the "I'm a better oilers fan" insults.

If anybody has superhuman healer hands, now is the time to step forward. Roli needs your help. According to MacT, he won't be back for the series... Granted, he didn't play a great game but the chances of our copper and blue winning with Conklin or Markkanen is slim. What the oil needs now is a miracle. And Pronger's only one man.