It's the friday night marking the start of reading week and all I wanna do is sleep.

The whirlwind that is chinese new year's demos/lion dances has begun. Yesterday was the infamous ging wu banquet and I guess the demo went pretty well. Although the dinner/dance didn't seem as much fun as past years probably because a lot of people left early. And, man oh man, did the music ever suck! Why did everyone think I was drunk? Just because I drank an obscene amount doesn't mean anything. I maintain that I drank the perfect amount yesterday at the perfect pace. Anyhoo, today we have a demo at wem by t&t. I wonder when I'll get home tonight and how much homework I'll get done...

I tried it, I couldn't find it
Now I just wanna get back to me

k-os

A year older and none the wiser. Of the ppl that actually remembered it was my bday today, many mistakingly thought I was turning 20! The "big two-O" as I like to refer to it. I'm pretty sure in a year, I'll be freakin out about bein so old. But for now, I'm gonna enjoy my last teen year. Later days.

stephen set my hair on fire, stupid pyro

happy new year

this place is so empty
my thoughts are so tempting
I don't know how it got so bad
sometimes it's so crazy
that nothing can save me

- sum 41

2005 is fast approaching, I'm lookin forward to it. To recap this yr... I had three resolutions: get better marks in sch, get back my once flat stomache, and get into less fights with the folks. I kept 2 outta 3, not too shabby. This means for the upcoming yr:

1. get back into shape
2. get even better marks in sch
3. become the "cool one" with the little kids at kung fu (should be easier to teach/babysit them if they like me)

I'm actually very proud of myself with the way I've handled things with my parents, for the most part. So I'll be sure to keep that up.

Merry Christmas

Finally wrote my last exam on monday. Went shopping and saw ocean's twelve afterwards; the shopping was a bit of a letdown considering I didn't really see anything worth buying, ocean's twelve wasn't as good as the original but still was not too shabby. Anyhoo, I guess I wanted to make a wish list. Here goes:

1. honda accord coupe v6 fully loaded (in about 2 1/2 yrs from my mom hopefully)
2. iBook (in about 1 yr from my dad)
3. iPod (to match the iBook)
4. samsung camera flip phone
5. small black wallet
6. dvd's: collateral, ocean's eleven, zoolander, american beauty, bourne identity, hero, pirates of the carribean... I'm sure there's more I can't think of right now..
7. cd's: gwen stefani, jay-z vs. linkin park
8. warm winter gloves (warm being the key word since mine are nice looking but the wind cuts right through them)
9. body shop lotions
10. digicam (maybe buyin on boxing day)

It's really not even practical for me to get an iPod since I have a perfectly good md walkman or the camera phone since I just bought my cell not even 5 months ago but ya, I had nothin else to put on the list. Fortunately.

I've never looked forward to a monday so much... it's gotten to the point where instead of wishin for more time to study, I just want to get it over with. I'm so ready to start my break.... the thing I've missed the most is spending several hours shopping. A luxury I can't afford during exams.

So I've basically given up on studying for today... bout to call it a night and go to sleep at a decent hour. For some reason, I've been stayin up till 2 or 3am the past few nights and I know messin up my sleep schedule like that cannot be a good thing. At least it'll all be over soon.. less than a week actually. The thing about bein up so late is there's this sense of peacefulness and loneliness intermingled. I'm tryin to combat the latter feeling by trying to get myself into the christmas spirit, but I just feel so .... solely responsible for my actions... it's depressing. I've just gotten to the point where it is so blatantly obvious to me that no one can help me. This probably doesn't make a lot of sense... I guess it's kinda like when I was younger, I would get sick and my mom would say she wished she could do it for me (be sick and miserable). Of course, it wasn't possible and the same thing applies now. You can have all these ppl surrounding you but they can't go through your struggles for you.

December is upon us and that can only mean two things.
1. finals
2. the sweet release of christmas break

A more detailed look at my schedule:
dec 2nd-4th: lab finals
8th: last day of classes
15th-20th: finals

All I live for is 12 noon on the 20th to come. Better days.

Hello loyal reader, not a whole lot to blog about.... startin to feel the stress for finals. I actually have my biol lab final this sat which is really not cool. I've developed some better study habits this term but in the process, I think I may have lost my ability to cram. Last yr, if my lab final was 3 days away, that's when I'd start... fast forward to present day and I'm thinkin I'm so screwed for sat, we'll see if I can push through.

I don't know what to make of today. I gave up my entire long weekend to study for biochem and it totally didn't pay off, I'm just stunned right now. I was convinced I aced that exam, I guess I have to go see it. I would probably chalk this whole day up to a loss if I hadn't seen The Incredibles. Amazing movie. Still, somehow it pales in comparison to my absolute disappointment.

As many of us use this four day long weekend to booze it up or, in the case of the nerds, to study it up we often lose sight of the importance of rememberance day. As more generations pass, we grow farther from the feeling of being linked to the veterans. I don't know if I should feel guilty about this... I did see something on a commercial for a vancouver news station about a woman who has been stealing poppy money from veterans so I guess I don't feel too guilty in comparison.. At any rate, regardless of how you utilize the "free" time, I feel it's in our best interests to try to keep in mind why it is we're getting a long weekend.

It occurs to me that many of us are not good with change or adaptation. Mainly what I want to talk about is how when you first get to know someone, that idea of who they are stays with you for a long time if not forever unaltered. This might account for why parents will always think of you as a helpless little baby who is at a loss without them. Basically, if you've ever had a long time friend who's gotten less and less like the kind of person you want to hang out with (the person they once were). Most likely, you're still friends just because you still remember how cool they used to be. It's a little warped but it definitely applies to me. For example, I had a crush on this guy when I first met him, he seemed like a really nice guy. Not a manslut, in good shape, smart. But over time, he's gotten so cocky it's ridiculous. It took me a while to realize that if I met him as he is now, there would be absolutely no attraction. Eventually, I had to let go of the crush cause he's just not that guy anymore. We all try to hold on to the person subconciously hoping they'll revert back to who you want them to be, never accepting that time has passed and change is inevitable.

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

-Howie Day

this choice I made keeps playing in my head over and over again
- nelly ft. tim mgcraw

Well, it's gotten to that point in the term where I get all frustrated and start to lose interest as well as motivation. Funny how it always coincides with midterms....